Deep-Seated Trust ❤️

I’ve seen many social media posts lately that relate to how hard it is to raise mini versions of yourself as a parent. As a mother of two, I see this often but just as often I see the paradigm of Jesus and myself while relating to my children. I certainly am not God but I believe that the mother-child and father-child relationship is a facet given to us by God to help us to better understand the love of Christ. This became especially true when I became “mommy.”

My five year old son is one full of love, innocence and an honest nature that humbles me every day. However, in the midst of all that good, I often see how fear sneaks in to steal his joy at such an early age. A few months back, he was back in his room playing when I took it upon myself to let our dogs in the backyard. I walked out on the porch to grab some fresh air and returned inside within a minute’s time to find a very upset little boy screaming “mommy” with tears running down his cheeks. He was in the early stages of panic mode. I immediately scooped him up hugging him and asking him what was wrong. Of course, I’m thinking he has hurt himself playing or needs something. He responded to me by saying, “I thought you left me.” Those five words were like knives going into my heart. I responded quickly saying, “Liam, I would never leave you alone.” See, the thing is, I have never left him alone before nor have I threatened to. I couldn’t understand his lack of trust in me. It was at that moment that I saw myself. God has never let me down. He has never given me a reason not to trust him. He knows his faithfulness, yet I still doubt his promises. On that day, in that moment, I believe Jesus allowed me to share in just a small bit of his suffering which brought me to repentance. Deuteronomy 31:6 “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” I don’t think this scripture would have been included in the Bible if there wasn’t going to be a temptation for us to be afraid. On that day, I had a desire to allow Liam to see my heart because I knew if he could, he would never again believe the lie that I would leave him. Same goes with Jesus Christ, the more I’m able to see his heart; I understand that his desires for me are nothing but good—even when I don’t fully understand. 

Child of Light

        I've found that one of my favorite things to do as a mother is to watch my children sleep. There is something angelic about a sleeping child/baby and I believe it gives me an opportunity to view peace in one of its purest forms. A few nights ago, I was watching my four year old and my baby girl (who is just a few days shy of one) rest peacefully in our king-sized bed. I began to think of how parents go to great lengths to protect their children, as we should. I mean seriously, think about the things we do and do not do for our children. We take on a role as the protector immediately upon seeing their faces. Before making decisions, Brent and I will come together and discuss the affects it will have on our children. We know that we live in a cruel world and that Satan will take any open door to get to our children; this is something we take very seriously. I expect this to be the case with many who read this blog and I also think this is perfectly normal and healthy. Jesus Christ desires that we love our children, value them, and protect them in any way possible from darkness, but in this we often forget that we are children of God and within us is much value.
   
        If we really believed that within us is the light of the world, wouldn't we live a much different life? I know there is a lot that would change for me if I constantly held on tightly to that in every situation. When I think of light of the world, I see that children of God are the ONLY hope for the world. Look around at the world we live in; it is darker than ever, but light shines the brightest in darkness. The scripture says that God knew us before we were even in our mother's womb. He ordained works for me to do before I was even here, therefore I must be pretty special (Jer 1:5) . If he ordained works for me to do, then he has also put gifts in me to get those things accomplished which just makes me that much more valuable.

       I've often wondered how it would affect others if my life were to suddenly end? If this sounds ludicrous to you, I challenge you to do it for yourself. The results I came up with were vast. First of all, there is the obvious that my husband would be without a wife and my children would grow up without their mother, but it gets so much more impactful than that. What would our kingdom business look like? What would happen to those people who are going to come to Christ in the future because God is using me as a vessel on the earth? This really puts things in perspective for me and shows me the gift that I truly am. This revelation has given me what I like to refer to as "grit." Because I'm coming to know who I am, I can endure things in the world from others who don't know who I am. I can endure circumstances because I have faith that what God has ordained will come to pass and I will see it. This changes everything.


     

Love Letters💗

Have you ever had a day when nothing went right? I can remember having these days from time to time throughout my life, but after having children these kind of days go from bad days to exhausting and seemingly unending spells. I never knew just how much I could love a tiny human and go to great lengths to ensure their health and safety until roughly four years ago. Throughout these past four years, God has shown me a lot about myself that was buried in the depths of my soul. I've felt overwhelming joy and execrable worry. I've often heard it said that having a child is equivalent to having your heart walk around outside of your body. I have to admit that when I am ruled by fear, worry, and anxiety; this is very much the case. However, God tells us not to worry. In parenthood, this seems virtually impossible but it isn't and sometimes Jesus sends us the perfect little messages to get us through the hard days.

Several weeks ago, our 9 month old daughter, Emma Claire, had an infection for which she was placed on an antibiotic. All seemed to be going okay besides the fact that she vomited each and every time she saw the medicine bottle. We tried everything from mixing it with yogurt to chocolate ice cream. See, she is quite the character and has a totally different disposition than our first-born. About five days into the antibiotic, the fever remained. I continued calling the doctor's office and kept them informed and I was advised to give it more time. About seven days into the antibiotic, I began to notice a faint rash on her legs. At this point, I assumed she had also contracted the viral infection, Roseola. Upon waking the next morning, the rash was worse which is what is to be expected with the infection so I wasn't too concerned until her fever shot up that evening. It was now the weekend so appointments were limited and the office was only open from 2:00-4:00pm. The next day was Sunday and you guessed it, the rash had intensified. It no longer looked like Roseola to me but instead resembled some sort of hives. I woke up and immediately left a message at the doctor's office so that we could get in upon them opening at 2:00pm. We live an hour from the office so we left in time to be nearby when the doors opened. I did receive a call back from the office about ten minutes before they opened; I was informed they would share the symptoms with the doctor and let us know IF they needed to see us. I really pressed in at this point by phone and asked that she be seen because we wanted a sure diagnosis. An hour passed, with no phone call. We finally pulled up in the parking lot and Brent went in to find out whether or not they would see us. They insisted that it was probably just an allergic reaction to the antibiotic and they would just change it without needing to see her in the office. All the while, we have one grumpy sick baby an hour away from home wanting to get out of her carseat and that alone made for a miserable day.

Finally, after all the hustle they agreed to see Emma Claire but we were informed that we would have to wait at least 40-50 minutes in the waiting room because everyone else there was in front of us. Of course, we gladly agreed because we simply wanted her seen by the doctor to have clarity about her situation. Just then, the impossible happened and we were called back in less than 10 minutes. We both stood in awe as the nurse informed us that someone in the waiting room gave us her place. It was obvious that the nurse was deeply impacted by this act of kindness. I was blown away. I asked her which lady it was because I had a deep desire to express my gratitude and thankfulness to her. However, when we left the lady was no longer in the waiting room, so I just remember thanking God for placing her in our path.

Moments later, we found ourselves in Rite Aid getting another antibiotic. As we were paying, a lady grabbed my arm and began to ask me about Emma Claire. She was deeply concerned. I immediately knew who she was. She was the one who has graciously sacrificed the appointment of her own child to allow mine to see the doctor first (sounds a lot like what God did with his son, right?). I felt compelled to hug her and with tears in my eyes, I graciously thanked her. Her response was so simple and true; all she said was, "God is good' before walking off.

There was once a time in my life when I would just look at this and say, "What a sweet lady who just happened to be at the right place at the right time" but that was Jesus--Jesus with skin on. I now consider happenings such as these love letters from the one who loves me more than I can think or imagine and knows exactly what to do and what I need before I even know what I need. This is something I will never forget and this love letter from him immediately took me to a place of complete trust and peace. I'm thankful that the next time I have similar emotions to arise, I can pull this love note back out and it will put everything back into perspective. You don't have to look far to find Jesus.


1 Peter 5:7 
Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

The Missing Peace

"The cares of the world deprive you from this peace and joy."-taken from "Song of Solomon" by Linda Lariscy

       Only Jesus Christ can give you true and everlasting peace and joy. The world tempts us with things that bring us very temporal and shallow peace and joy. This can come in many different forms and often appears to be good. I see this so often in celebrities and star athletes. Take Tiger Woods for example; I believe it's safe to say he is the best golfer to ever grace the course in terms of talent and ability. He has tried to fill an empty void with various degrees of addiction and in turn, it has cost him his family, health, career, and ultimately his life unless repentance comes. Notice that destruction wasn't immediate but it was imminent. For a while, he had all of these problems going on and they were left unnoticed while he appeared to be on top of the world but little by little, he was being devoured. The cares of this world will cause you turn to something. If you don't have Christ, you will turn somewhere else for comfort. As we all know, Tiger Woods turned to a sexual addiction and substance abuse and was judged extremely harsh for it because he was in the public eye, but are any of us really that much different than him?

      We are all born with a missing puzzle-piece that can only be filled with Jesus Christ. However, we often spend years trying to fill it with things that are tangible and that we think will bring satisfaction and pleasure; instead these things eventually bring destruction and heartbreak. I have spent much of my life trying to fill this void with various degrees of comfort but nothing fit the void. You see, the void is divine; it was God's perfect will for all of us to have it. I see it like a jigsaw puzzle. We slide around all kinds of different pieces trying to make them fit, but they just don't and no matter how bad we try, they never will. The good news is that there is one piece that will fit and his name is Jesus Christ. He turns mourning to dancing and always delivers on His promises. Only an experience with him can annihilate the cares of this world. 

**I highly recommend the book this quote was taken from to anyone that is really interested in increasing their love walk with Jesus. It can be found on www.hfwlministry.com

Be Still and Know That I am...

            We all know Psalm 46:10, "Be still and know that I am God." I have heard this scripture tossed around and spoken from a pulpit for as far back as I can remember, but what I haven't always known is how remarkably powerful it is and how it can bring me to a place of complete serenity. A few weeks back, I was scrolling through my homepage on Facebook when I stumbled upon this scripture. I was going pretty quickly as I fished for something that would capture my attention and I immediately read it to myself as, "Be still and know that I am good." I scrolled back up to see that I actually read it wrong and of course it really said, "Be still and know that I am God."
             It was at this point that I began to understand what the Lord was trying to show me, as he has been working with me for several months on knowing and understanding who he is and what his intentions are for me. He began to show me that unless I understand that he is good; I can't know him as God because they are inseparable. For much of my life, I have feared God in an unhealthy way. I always felt like he was coming to punish me when I didn't do everything just right or give me a hand-slap when I could have performed better. I was never able to fully lavish in his love this way because this false belief separated me from being able to draw near to him. It was never him. It was always me.
            When we had the opportunity in 2014 to found a business, I quickly realized that I wanted nothing to do with it, but I knew the Lord was saying yes. I can personally remember talking to Jesus and telling him that I didn't want it. I told him that I really would rather just live an ordinary life without the hassle of owning a business and managing people. This may sound crazy to some but we quickly found that owning a business was especially challenging and that it would require our constant attention, much focus, a great sacrifice of our time, and two young married people moving together to bring about the Lord's desire for the company (hardest part). However, we pressed in and sacrificed all the while questioning God about what he was doing and doubting that we had what it would take. Three years later, we are still here and things are smoother than they've ever been. I am now excited about what God is doing in our business and about him letting me be a part of it.
             My whole point is that I didn't understand three years ago that God is love. I didn't understand that he did what he did because he was looking at who I would be today and my potential. He knew my desires better than I knew my desires. He knows my gifts and he knows my weaknesses. He knew that I needed to go through all of that just to understand him and to love him more. I now like to refer back to Psalm 46:10 in the hard times of life and yes, I do replace God with good because he is absolutely God, but just as important, he is nothing but good.

Treasure Hidden in A Field

         Due to the name of our blog being, Our Field of Treasure, I find it appropriate to really share what the Holy Spirit showed me as I sought him for a name and to share what he gave me about Matthew 13:44. First of all, I just want to say that scripture is so deep and powerful and how I have really benefited from just taking one scripture at a time and really meditating on that scripture rather than trying to take in many scriptures and just read. I've found that by taking in one scripture, I am able to really eat and digest it and get it in my spirit and then when the trials of life come, my spirit-man has retained the scripture and the Holy Spirit brings it back up just when I need it most. 
         The scripture begins, "The Kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field." The Kingdom of heaven is hidden and it definitely is a treasure. Few find it because it is a narrow path and it goes against the flow of the world. Most people wouldn't go to an ordinary field to look for treasure. I believe that I have found the Kingdom of God which is treasure of infinite value but there are still parts hidden to me that I do not fully understand and that's okay because God is pleased when I trust him. He is teaching me that I don't have to see the full picture or know how everything is going to pan out because he is orchestrating everything for my good as I am called to his purpose and because I love him. 
         The scripture goes on to say, " When a man found it, he hid it again, and then in his joy went and sold all he had and bought that field." The man found it and hid it again because he did not want to lose it or it to be taken by anyone else before he could purchase it. He knew the value of the treasure after getting a glimpse and that it was worth more than anything else he had, therefore he could sell everything else he had without hesitation. He knew he had found what was missing and the only thing that could bring him true and everlasting joy. 
         When I read this scripture, I can relate well to the first sentence but I believe that I have held onto some things rather than forsaking them for the treasure. As humans, we often fear letting go of certain things because we cannot fully grasp what is up ahead. I am asking God to show me what is ahead so that in faith, I can release those things that I no longer need. After all, the man found (saw) the treasure but he couldn't reap any benefits until he stepped out in faith and sold everything else he had. This is about ownership. We must take ownership of the gifts that Christ has given us so that we can move to please him on the earth. I have to do it for me and you have to do it for you but Christ is in the field just waiting for us to make our purchase.