We all know Psalm 46:10, "Be still and know that I am God." I have heard this scripture tossed around and spoken from a pulpit for as far back as I can remember, but what I haven't always known is how remarkably powerful it is and how it can bring me to a place of complete serenity. A few weeks back, I was scrolling through my homepage on Facebook when I stumbled upon this scripture. I was going pretty quickly as I fished for something that would capture my attention and I immediately read it to myself as, "Be still and know that I am good." I scrolled back up to see that I actually read it wrong and of course it really said, "Be still and know that I am God."
It was at this point that I began to understand what the Lord was trying to show me, as he has been working with me for several months on knowing and understanding who he is and what his intentions are for me. He began to show me that unless I understand that he is good; I can't know him as God because they are inseparable. For much of my life, I have feared God in an unhealthy way. I always felt like he was coming to punish me when I didn't do everything just right or give me a hand-slap when I could have performed better. I was never able to fully lavish in his love this way because this false belief separated me from being able to draw near to him. It was never him. It was always me.
When we had the opportunity in 2014 to found a business, I quickly realized that I wanted nothing to do with it, but I knew the Lord was saying yes. I can personally remember talking to Jesus and telling him that I didn't want it. I told him that I really would rather just live an ordinary life without the hassle of owning a business and managing people. This may sound crazy to some but we quickly found that owning a business was especially challenging and that it would require our constant attention, much focus, a great sacrifice of our time, and two young married people moving together to bring about the Lord's desire for the company (hardest part). However, we pressed in and sacrificed all the while questioning God about what he was doing and doubting that we had what it would take. Three years later, we are still here and things are smoother than they've ever been. I am now excited about what God is doing in our business and about him letting me be a part of it.
My whole point is that I didn't understand three years ago that God is love. I didn't understand that he did what he did because he was looking at who I would be today and my potential. He knew my desires better than I knew my desires. He knows my gifts and he knows my weaknesses. He knew that I needed to go through all of that just to understand him and to love him more. I now like to refer back to Psalm 46:10 in the hard times of life and yes, I do replace God with good because he is absolutely God, but just as important, he is nothing but good.
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