Deep-Seated Trust ❤️

I’ve seen many social media posts lately that relate to how hard it is to raise mini versions of yourself as a parent. As a mother of two, I see this often but just as often I see the paradigm of Jesus and myself while relating to my children. I certainly am not God but I believe that the mother-child and father-child relationship is a facet given to us by God to help us to better understand the love of Christ. This became especially true when I became “mommy.”

My five year old son is one full of love, innocence and an honest nature that humbles me every day. However, in the midst of all that good, I often see how fear sneaks in to steal his joy at such an early age. A few months back, he was back in his room playing when I took it upon myself to let our dogs in the backyard. I walked out on the porch to grab some fresh air and returned inside within a minute’s time to find a very upset little boy screaming “mommy” with tears running down his cheeks. He was in the early stages of panic mode. I immediately scooped him up hugging him and asking him what was wrong. Of course, I’m thinking he has hurt himself playing or needs something. He responded to me by saying, “I thought you left me.” Those five words were like knives going into my heart. I responded quickly saying, “Liam, I would never leave you alone.” See, the thing is, I have never left him alone before nor have I threatened to. I couldn’t understand his lack of trust in me. It was at that moment that I saw myself. God has never let me down. He has never given me a reason not to trust him. He knows his faithfulness, yet I still doubt his promises. On that day, in that moment, I believe Jesus allowed me to share in just a small bit of his suffering which brought me to repentance. Deuteronomy 31:6 “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.” I don’t think this scripture would have been included in the Bible if there wasn’t going to be a temptation for us to be afraid. On that day, I had a desire to allow Liam to see my heart because I knew if he could, he would never again believe the lie that I would leave him. Same goes with Jesus Christ, the more I’m able to see his heart; I understand that his desires for me are nothing but good—even when I don’t fully understand.