Have you ever had a day when nothing went right? I can remember having these days from time to time throughout my life, but after having children these kind of days go from bad days to exhausting and seemingly unending spells. I never knew just how much I could love a tiny human and go to great lengths to ensure their health and safety until roughly four years ago. Throughout these past four years, God has shown me a lot about myself that was buried in the depths of my soul. I've felt overwhelming joy and execrable worry. I've often heard it said that having a child is equivalent to having your heart walk around outside of your body. I have to admit that when I am ruled by fear, worry, and anxiety; this is very much the case. However, God tells us not to worry. In parenthood, this seems virtually impossible but it isn't and sometimes Jesus sends us the perfect little messages to get us through the hard days.
Several weeks ago, our 9 month old daughter, Emma Claire, had an infection for which she was placed on an antibiotic. All seemed to be going okay besides the fact that she vomited each and every time she saw the medicine bottle. We tried everything from mixing it with yogurt to chocolate ice cream. See, she is quite the character and has a totally different disposition than our first-born. About five days into the antibiotic, the fever remained. I continued calling the doctor's office and kept them informed and I was advised to give it more time. About seven days into the antibiotic, I began to notice a faint rash on her legs. At this point, I assumed she had also contracted the viral infection, Roseola. Upon waking the next morning, the rash was worse which is what is to be expected with the infection so I wasn't too concerned until her fever shot up that evening. It was now the weekend so appointments were limited and the office was only open from 2:00-4:00pm. The next day was Sunday and you guessed it, the rash had intensified. It no longer looked like Roseola to me but instead resembled some sort of hives. I woke up and immediately left a message at the doctor's office so that we could get in upon them opening at 2:00pm. We live an hour from the office so we left in time to be nearby when the doors opened. I did receive a call back from the office about ten minutes before they opened; I was informed they would share the symptoms with the doctor and let us know IF they needed to see us. I really pressed in at this point by phone and asked that she be seen because we wanted a sure diagnosis. An hour passed, with no phone call. We finally pulled up in the parking lot and Brent went in to find out whether or not they would see us. They insisted that it was probably just an allergic reaction to the antibiotic and they would just change it without needing to see her in the office. All the while, we have one grumpy sick baby an hour away from home wanting to get out of her carseat and that alone made for a miserable day.
Finally, after all the hustle they agreed to see Emma Claire but we were informed that we would have to wait at least 40-50 minutes in the waiting room because everyone else there was in front of us. Of course, we gladly agreed because we simply wanted her seen by the doctor to have clarity about her situation. Just then, the impossible happened and we were called back in less than 10 minutes. We both stood in awe as the nurse informed us that someone in the waiting room gave us her place. It was obvious that the nurse was deeply impacted by this act of kindness. I was blown away. I asked her which lady it was because I had a deep desire to express my gratitude and thankfulness to her. However, when we left the lady was no longer in the waiting room, so I just remember thanking God for placing her in our path.
Moments later, we found ourselves in Rite Aid getting another antibiotic. As we were paying, a lady grabbed my arm and began to ask me about Emma Claire. She was deeply concerned. I immediately knew who she was. She was the one who has graciously sacrificed the appointment of her own child to allow mine to see the doctor first (sounds a lot like what God did with his son, right?). I felt compelled to hug her and with tears in my eyes, I graciously thanked her. Her response was so simple and true; all she said was, "God is good' before walking off.
There was once a time in my life when I would just look at this and say, "What a sweet lady who just happened to be at the right place at the right time" but that was Jesus--Jesus with skin on. I now consider happenings such as these love letters from the one who loves me more than I can think or imagine and knows exactly what to do and what I need before I even know what I need. This is something I will never forget and this love letter from him immediately took me to a place of complete trust and peace. I'm thankful that the next time I have similar emotions to arise, I can pull this love note back out and it will put everything back into perspective. You don't have to look far to find Jesus.
1 Peter 5:7
Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
